literature

Debbie's Diva Dilemma

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The Speakeasy was deserted. The tables and chairs were tidied away and the bar had long ended service. Debbie surveyed the scene from where she was positioned on the stage, her gaze fixed on Detective Stan McClane as he burst through the doors. She longed to warn him that he had stormed into a trap, but the silk scarf pulled between her lips and tied behind her head meant she could only muster a muted, "Lllllkkk ttttt sssssttttnnnn!"

    Debbie was dressed in an elegant bright red flapper dress, with the hem just reaching the red velvet high heels on her feet. Her coppery red hair was tied back and held in place with a dark band, from which a black feather was protruding. Her arms up to her elbows were clad in dark opera gloves with expensive diamond rings on her fingers. Not that anyone could see them, due to how her hands were bound over the chair back with strong brown ropes. More cord enveloped her upper body and lap, pinning her into the seat, and her feet had been bound together and fixed to the crosspiece.

    A rough hand placed itself on her exposed shoulder. It belonged to notorious gangster Hal Capello. Dressed in a sharp tuxedo he smiled smugly at Stan McClane. "Don't try anything funny see, or dis dame gets it!"

   But Stan McClane wasn't beaten. His one advantage was being the fastest and most accurate shot in New York. Quick as a flash he drew his weapons from their holsters. But they were not guns, rather they were bottles of expensive looking perfume, one tinted a light pink, the other a light blue. Stan aimed them at Hal Capello and fired.

    A cloud of scented moisture engulfed Hal's head, at which he gave an overacted, anguished cry and fell dramatically in slow motion, where he rolled about on the floor moaning with his hands over his eyes. Debbie cried out in relief as Stan leapt onto the stage to release her. But before he did so, Stan quickly sprayed a little fragrance from the light blue bottle onto his neck. Debbie inhaled the sweet scent in through her nostrils, gazing up at Stan wistfully.

    The scene faded to black, then the two bottles of perfume came into focus. A sensual, growling voice announced, "Prohibition! The new fragrance from Jacque Beauchamp, for him and for her! Launching at Ridley's Department Store in two weeks!"


    Deborah Irene Drummond, known to her friends as Debbie, pressed pause and beamed at those sat around the meeting table, feeling like she had really outdone herself this time. "Did you like it?" she asked brightly.

    "Three words, just three words. A-ma-zing!" exclaimed Bernard Holt, Vice Marketing Executive of Jacque Beauchamp, a large man with a trimmed goatee and a habit of wearing vividly bright ties.

    "It was, like, literally Oscar-worthy," seconded Carmen Hart, Junior Vice Marketing Executive of Jacque Beauchamp, a noisy career woman with dyed blonde hair and heavily tanned skin.

    Red headed Debbie felt flushed with pride. Jacque Beauchamp Perfumes Ltd had put a lot of faith in her to produce this commercial for the launch of their latest fragrance. She'd been assigned the task because Ridley's Department Store had been chosen as the official launch venue. It was a big deal that could potentially bring huge amounts of money to the business, so she was determined to do a good job. She was thankful that, with investment from Jacque Beauchamp, she hadn't gone over budget.      

    No wonder Thomas Ridley, the store owner, was beaming at her. "I told you Debbie would do a good job. She's never let us down yet!" he said, making Debbie blush.

    Only Donald Cotter Sr. looked unhappy, the young woman of whom he'd always disapproved frustrating him yet again. He gave a loud and deliberate cough before saying, "Are we sure this sends out the right message? Gangsters hardly emit a family friendly vibe."  

    Bernard waved his criticisms aside. "Perfume commercials need to be edgy, adventurous and romantic, and this had all those in spades. Though, if you'll permit me Debbie, I have a couple of tiny concerns…"

    "Miniscule concerns…" added Carmen.

    "Teensy weensy concerns…" Bernard added further. "Why is the hero called Stan?"

     Debbie decided not to tell them it had been a sly reference to her boyfriend Stan, with whom she shared a happy, though ever so slightly volatile, relationship. "I thought Stan was a good heroic name."

   "Oh and it most certainly is," Carmen reassured her. "We just feel we need something catchier, like Rex or Zap or Brian!"

    Debbie was a little taken aback, but hid it as she replied, "Well I'll try and get the actors in for a redubbing session…"

    "Wonderful," Carmen exclaimed. "Oh another thing, erm, I'm not really feeling the villain, you know. I'm not sure the audience will, like, identify with him."

     Bernard gave an enthusiastic click of his fingers, "Wait wait wait, I've got it!" he announced.

    "He's got it!" repeated Carmen.

     "Are you thinking what I'm thinking?"

     "I bet you I am!"

     "You know how the number one film at the moment is 'Revenge of the Machine People 5?'"

     "Cracking film!"

     "Well why don't we make the villain a robot?"

      Carmen gave a genuine gasp of surprise. "Genius! You are a genius!"

      Debbie, feeling like she was now being completely ignored by the two gasbagging executives, didn't share Carmen's enthusiasm. "Well, with respect, wouldn't that change the whole emphasis of the…" she began before Bernard interrupted her.

    "Oh one last tiny matter. We're going to recast Debbie!"

    Debbie suddenly felt like a stone had fallen through her stomach. Surely she hadn't heard them correctly? She looked to Mr Ridley for support and saw he too had a stunned expression on his face. "Excuse me for asking, but I thought you said Debbie did a good job," he asked them bluntly.

    "Oh of course she did," replied Carmen. "We just need a name with a little more sparkle, more razzmatazz, more zip and pizzazz. Someone along the lines of…"(she paused for dramatic effect) "…Stephanie Swift!"

    Donald had been enjoying Debbie's misfortune up to that point, but upon hearing that name he almost choked on the water he was drinking. "That spoilt brat who my neighbour's teenage girls can't stop raving about!" he asked, sounding flabbergasted.

    "She's looking to form a more adult image for herself, and we feel her becoming the face of our latest fragrance would be a logical step. She agreed with us when she signed the contract two weeks ago," explained Bernard.

    Debbie felt the breath stop in her body. They'd never intended her to be the face of their advertising campaign. They'd used her to devise a commercial, only for them to steam in at the last minute, bring in a major celebrity and then take all the credit. She felt utterly cheated.

   Strangely it was Donald who objected to their plan. "You're asking that we essentially reshoot the entire commercial at the eleventh hour with one of the most famous girls in the country? There's no way we could afford that…"

    "Oh you let us deal with the boring financial stuff!" Carmen replied. "We'll be back in a week to reshoot with Stephanie. And we'd love Debbie to direct and produce it for us."

    Debbie knew she had little choice. She doubted she'd have much say over what the final product would look like, but if she was to have any input at all she had to accept their offer. Her voice distant and faint she replied, "Yeah I'd be happy too."

    "Stupendous, see you then!" Bernard announced. "Now Carmen, how about a grande triple mocha latte with cinnamon infused syrup?"

    Hands were shaken and goodbyes said, before Bernard and Carmen left to return to their head offices. Debbie and the two men stood still in complete silence for a while, the only sound that of the bubbling water cooler. Then Mr Ridley sighed regretfully, "I'm sorry Debbie."

     Debbie knew he meant it, but also knew his hands were tied. Jacque Beauchamp was funding the project and Ridley's depended on this deal a lot more than they did. She also knew that nothing she could have done would have changed the outcome. But after putting so much effort into this project she couldn't help feeling completely deflated.  



    "I can't believe you're going to meet Stephanie Swift," Honoria 'Honey' Hudson told Debbie in amazement.

    "I can't believe they let you use this trailer," Honey's boyfriend Herbie remarked as he looked all about the massive mobile home Debbie had been allocated.

    "I can't believe we've got so much free food," Stan exclaimed, piling the complimentary battered shrimp, mini hotdogs, and chicken pieces onto his plate.

    "Of all the moments to think about your stomach Stan," Debbie chided her boyfriend, pacing through the trailer nervously, the high heels of her brown leather boots clicking off the metallic floor. With them she wore a wavy knee length brown skirt, tan tights and a white sleeveless blouse. Stephanie was arriving in only a matter of minutes, and Debbie was determined that nothing was to go wrong with her directorial debut. She might have been denied a starring role, but she wasn't going to let those clueless executives completely ruin her work.

    Blonde haired Honey, dressed in a yellow floral print casual dress with white high heel pumps, seemed a lot more enthusiastic about the imminent celebrity's arrival. "It's amazing you're going to work with her. Maybe I could get her autograph."

     Debbie whirled around with a flick of her coppery red hair and stared daggers at her friend. "You can't seriously like Stephanie's music?"

    "Yeah! 'Love on a Friday Night' is an amazing song!" Honey defended.

    "And aimed at manic, obsessive tweenage girls," Herbie added disdainfully. "Though it would be pretty sweet to get her autograph."

    "Zip it Herbie, you only want her autograph to then sell it online!" Honey glowered at him.

    His mouth full of battered shrimp Stan said, "Since she turned eighteen she was voted the eighth most beautiful woman in the USA. I read that…" He trailed off when he caught sight of Debbie glaring at him, quickly recovering by finishing, "…in Rolling Stone magazine."

    Debbie let out a long sigh. She'd invited them over to cheer her up, but so far they were doing a terrible job. "What am I doing? I don't have the experience to direct a commercial. Why did I agree to this?"

    Plate in hand, Stan put his arm around her. "It's a great opportunity for you Debbie. Plus you told me how much you wanted to direct your own commercial!"

    "Well if you ever started paying attention to what I tell you Stan then you'd know I meant I wanted to direct when I'm older!" Debbie ranted, feeling like a pressure valve inside of her had been released. "But that's ok. You go back to stuffing your face with complimentary food and reading Rolling Stone magazine! You let me deal with this golden, amazing opportunity!"

    "Don't you think you're overreacting a little?" Stan asked, instantly regretting he said it as Debbie shot him a look of pure thunder.

   "I'll give you overreacting!" she barked. And with that she stormed out the trailer and slammed the door behind her.

    Stan blinked at Honey and Herbie. "Was it something I said?" he asked in confusion, before popping another chicken piece into his mouth.

    Outside Debbie immediately regretted her outburst as she stormed away. It wasn't Stan's fault. She just wished people saw things from her perspective, and stopped bleating on about what a great opportunity this was. Some opportunity, trapped doing an advert over which she had no creative control. And to think, how exciting she had initially found the prospect of this project.

    She walked past the line of mobile trailers parked outside the film studio, hired by Bernard and Carmen to accommodate the starlet's extensive entourage. Stephanie Swift was the latest Tweenage superstar. Having just turned eighteen, she was the lead in the hugely popular TV show, 'The adventures of Steph Swift,' and was a multi-platinum pop singer. When she took the controlling interest of her accumulated wealth she would become one of the wealthiest teenagers in the country, though she was reportedly very upset over how her father had refused her access to these funds for another year.

   As Debbie headed to the car park entrance she heard a cacophony of high pitched squeals from across the wall. Apparently news that Stephanie was filming here had spread, and a gaggle of young fans had gathered by the roadside. These squeals increased in volume and pitch as through the security barrier drove a massive black hummer. Crowds of hysterical tweenage girls tried to break through the perimeter but were held back by darkly dressed security guards.

    Debbie took a calming breath as the back doors of the hummer opened. Out stepped a young, slim Californian dressed in a pink tanktop, denim minishorts and sandals on her bare feet. Her long, wavy, strawberry blonde hair was held back by a pair of hugely expensive sunglasses pushed up onto her head, her finger and toenails were varnished a vivid purple, and she wore more makeup on her face than would ever have been necessary.

     Smiling sweetly Debbie outstretched her hand and said, "Welcome to Vanity City. I'm the director of the commercial Debbie Drummond."

   Stephanie Swift didn't shake her hand, instead chewing on the gum in her mouth very obviously. "Where are Bernard and Carmen?" she asked bluntly.

    Right on cue was an enthusiastic cry of, "Yoo hoo! We're coming!" Bernard and Carmen then ran over, the two marketing executives as excited as children on Christmas morning.

    "Wow Stephanie, you look radiant! Are you using a new hair product?" Bernard cosied up to her.

    "This commercial better not take long, I'm holding an eighteen and two month birthday party for myself tonight," Stephanie grumbled, setting off at pace in the direction of the studios.

     "Oh it'll all be over before you realise it hun," Carmen exclaimed, as she and Bernard flanked Stephanie, leaving Debbie following in their wake.

    "And who's idea was it for me to be all tied up? Bit weird don't you think?" Stephanie sniffed.

    An eager to please Bernard explained to her, "Ah but the tying up part is crucial to the whole commercial. It represents forbidden fruit, it's sensual and fantastical, just the sort of message we want to…"

    "Yeah yeah I get it. I just want it to make me look grown up so I get a part in a movie I'm auditioning for," Stephanie informed him curtly. "But don't you go tying me up too tight. My skin is insured for ten thousand dollars, so it'll be your fault if it gets chafed."

    This statement only confirmed Debbie's suspicions that Stephanie was a truly spoilt cow.    



     "Positions everyone!" Debbie announced to the film crews and actors, sitting in her director's chair. She had in her lap a copy of the script, but it was unrecognisable from her original. To one side was newly renamed Rex McClane. Beside him the last drops of makeup were being applied to the robot gangster Hal Capello MK2.6Beta. The only recognisable aspects of the commercial was the speakeasy set and the red flapper outfit Debbie had worn, which Stephanie was now dressed in.

    The superstar was sat in the same chair with her hands and feet bound but nothing else, and a black silk scarf between her lips. Debbie watched as she practised her damsel routine with her agent. 'Amateur', she couldn't help thinking as she watched Stephanie's melodramatic expressions, with her eyebrows bouncing up and down like caterpillars on a trampoline, and listened to her high pitched, mouse like squeaks through her gag. There was no honest emotion, no intensity, no drama in her performance. That was what made Debbie's damsel themed commercials so effective. Stephanie just looked ridiculous.

    Yet Debbie swallowed her pride and decided it was time to get on with it. It wasn't like things could get much worse. Once everyone was in position she called out, "Lights, Camera and…"

    Suddenly the studio was plunged into pitch black darkness. Even the emergency lighting failed. Debbie couldn't see her hand in front of her face, and judging from the hysterical cries about her neither could the crew. There were crashes as people stumbled for the exit. Over the top came the high pitched squeals of a gagged Stephanie, but her situation was the last thing on people's minds.

    "I think the circuit breaker has been thrown!" shouted the head technician.

    "Just get it sorted!" Debbie yelled, standing up but being instantly bumped into by someone staggering about blindly, forcing her back into her chair. The confused moments passed by like minutes, before the technician found the relevant switch and flicked it.

    The lights came back on revealing the chaos. People were out of position and stood beside overturned cameras and chairs, one runner was clutching a sprained ankle. But it was something absent that caught Debbie's attention. Or, to be more specific, someone absent.

    The chair on the stage was completely empty. Stephanie had disappeared without a trace!



   "And when the lights went back up she'd just gone!" Debbie told Mr Ridley down the phone.

   "And nobody had seen or heard from her since?" queried Mr Ridley.

    "Her agent has been trying but hasn't got through," Debbie replied.

    Before Mr Ridley could reply the voice of Donald Cotter Sr. exclaimed loudly, "I told you Thomas! I told you her damsel commercials would put us in hot water someday!"

     "This isn't Debbie's fault Donald!" she heard Mr Ridley shout, before he told her, "The police are on the way. Keep calm and don't go getting yourself in trouble!"

    But after he hung up Debbie realised she was itching for a bit of trouble. She felt like she was a pawn in someone's scheme, and she was thoroughly sick of it. She wanted to take back control of her life and sort these problems out.

    But these thoughts were also tinged with regret, because Donald had been more right than either he or Mr Ridley had realised. Debbie's intention of doing a commercial featuring a kidnapped damsel had provided the perfect environment for a real life kidnapping. Bound as she was Stephanie could have done nothing to prevent herself being hauled away. Moreover, with the gag in her mouth any warning Stephanie could have given would have been muffled and unintelligible, especially with all the commotion.

    It was a perfect kidnapping. Yet what bothered Debbie the most was how her commercial had become the means to abduct an innocent, if somewhat bratty, eighteen year old girl. Debbie had always intended her damsel in distress themed commercials to be tongue in cheek and light hearted, but never would she want them re-enacted for real.

    But who could have done such a thing? It had to be someone with access to the script, someone who'd been desperate to see this commercial done with Stephanie as the star and had pulled many strings and stepped on many toes to do so. Moreover it had to be someone with no sense of shame or moral compass.

    Like a jigsaw fitting together inside her head, Debbie suddenly realised who was responsible for all this. And this realisation made her angry as hell.

     Turning on her heel she stormed out the studio, threw open the emergency fire door and strode purposefully across the courtyard. She made for the first of the mobile trailers lined up in the car park, hammered on the door and crossed her arms as she waited to be answered.  

    "Debbie, what's going on?" said Carmen as she opened the door, looking at her in surprise. "I heard about what happened. Have the police…?"

     "Cut the little miss innocent act. I know it was you!" Debbie snarled at her.

     Carmen's look of confusion only intensified. "Sorry I, like, literally don't follow you."

     To Carmen's surprise as well as her own, Debbie suddenly found herself laughing at the executive's gormless expression. "At first I did wonder why, out of all the major department stores in the USA, you picked Ridley's to launch your new fragrance," Debbie began to explain. "Then when you picked me to head the advertisement campaign I went along with it, blindly thinking that maybe my work was getting recognition. But that was what you were banking on wasn't it? You knew I'd create another damsel in distress commercial, then you'd bring in Stephanie for your opportunity to kidnap her. And you avoid suspicion because the commercial was my idea!"

       It took a while for Carmen to respond. Ultimately she did so calmly with her long and fake eyelashes battering wildly. "Come now Debbie darling, what is all this nonsense?"

     "Quit it Carmen. Release Stephanie now before the police get involved," Debbie insisted, her anger at the heavily tanned career woman fuelling her defiant outburst.

    "I think you've perhaps done one damsel in distress commercial too many. Things like that don't happen in real GET HER BERNARD!"

    Debbie hadn't noticed the Vice Marketing Executive creeping up behind her, so she failed to prevent him clamping his hand over her mouth and wrapping his other arm about her upper body. "Why don't you come in and make yourself at home?" Bernard grunted over Debbie's frantic and muffled cries.          



   Oblivious to the dramatic events transpiring inside the studio, Honey happily hummed the tune of 'Love on a Friday Night' as she made her way to the final trailer. She rhythmically tapped the notepad in her left hand with the fountain pen in her right. She figured she stood more chance of grabbing an autograph now, before the young celebrity departed into the throngs of hysterical fans waiting outside the gates. The other four trailers, not including the one where Stan and Herbie continued to scoff the complimentary treats, were deserted. Still she was undeterred, and without hesitating she knocked on the door of the last trailer.

    It seemed like her luck had changed when she heard footsteps. Then the door swung open to reveal a rather flustered, large man with an immaculately trimmed goatee. "Yes, can I help you Miss?" he asked rather abruptly.

    "Hi there," Honey replied sweetly. "I was just wondering if this is Stephanie's trailer, only I really love her music and I was hoping she could sign this for…Are you ok? You look a little flustered."

    "I'm fine, just doing some Pilates," the man responded. Suddenly there was a loud crashing noise. "Er, with friends," the man swiftly added.

   "Do you normally make such a racket doing Pilates?" Honey asked in confusion over another crashing sound.

   "We're very enthusiastic about it. Listen, why not try the studio, I'm sure they're nearly finished over…"

    The man's instructions were interrupted by the loudest crash of all, followed by a cry of, "OW you little," before the door to the trailers bedroom burst open and out stumbled…

    "Debbie!" Honey gasped in horror.

   "Hhhhnnnnnyyyyy ggggttt wwwwyyyy, gggttt hhhhhllllpppp!" Debbie yelled at her through the rag stuffed in her mouth, held in place by a pair of bright purple neckties pulled between her teeth and tied underneath her red hair. Ropes encircled her arms and upper body with her hands tied behind her back. Around her booted left ankle had been looped another strand of rope, but it wasn't attached to anything and trailed along the ground behind her. Even as she and Honey made eye contact another woman with dyed blonde hair appeared, grabbed Debbie by her arms and hauled her back into the bedroom. Then before Honey could properly react the man grabbed her by the wrists and hauled her inside as well, slamming the door shut before she could so much as squeak in surprise.

    Honey's eyes widened further when she saw Stephanie Swift lying on the large double bed, wearing the red flapper dress with dark gloves and red pumps, her upper body bound like Debbie but with her feet tied at the ankles and the dark scarf gag still in place. The eighteen year old starlet moaned in confusion as she took in this strange scene, as Debbie was sat down on the bedside while the woman tried to grab her dancing ankles.

   "This stupid girl kicked me with her high heels," Carmen grumbled. "Keep your feet still will you!"

    "Nnnnttt nnnn cccnnnccceee!" Debbie growled. After everything these two had done and were still doing to her, she wasn't going down easily.

    "My my Debbie, you're putting up all the fight of a supermarket price crunch campaign!" Bernard remarked as grasped Honey tightly. "But if you keep it up your friend will regret it!"

     At his threat Debbie saw no choice but to fall still. She silently fumed as her ankles were drawn together and bound, before Carmen applied more rope about her legs just above her knees. Then she was made to sit beside Stephanie on the bed. She wriggled her booted feet up and down and flexed her bound hands, but felt nothing come loose.

    "You're going to have to do the same to me right?" Honey gulped.

    "Consider it your punishment for actually wanting this spoilt madams autograph," Carmen replied as she produced more rope. Then she pulled Honey's hands behind her back, where they were crossed over before being lashed together.

    "Why are you doing this?" Honey asked as she was restrained.

    "Well funny story," Bernard began, returning to full on marketing executive mode. "You see Carmen and I make a lot of money doing this job."

    "A huge amount of money," Carmen added.

    "A tremendous amount," Bernard added finally. "The only thing about money is the more you make the more you want. And then one day I had an idea."

    "And what an idea," Carmen cooed, winding ropes around Honey's arms and chest.

    "I realised, 'why only make a six figure salary when you can enter the kidnapping industry and make a seven, maybe even eight figure salary? We maintain our jobs with Jacques Beauchamp because it gives us access to the rich and powerful, who we then kidnap and hold to ransom. It produces high annual yields with little lost in wages and expenses!"

     "So you're here to kidnap Stephanie!" Honey deduced as the ropes about her torso were tightened off. "What about Debbie and me?"

     "Hmmm well I need a brainstorming session," Bernard replied, stroking his beard ponderously as Carmen sat Honey down on the bed before winding ropes about her ankles. Then with a click of his fingers he announced, "Oh I've got it."

    "Here it comes, here it comes," Carmen repeated in excitement.

     "We take Stephanie with us and leave these two nosy snoops in here after we rig it to explode. These mobile trailers store a lot of fuel, so they should produce a sufficiently large fireball and a very loud bang."

     "NNNMMMM!" Debbie groaned, for the first time her anger becoming tinged with fear.

    Luckily Honey had a brainwave. "But why don't you hold us both to ransom? My name is Honoria Hudson! My dad will pay good money for our release!"

    Both looked sceptical. "I'll check it on my Raspberry," Bernard announced as Carmen lifted up the hem of Honey's dress, though only to bind her knees together. Once he'd googled Honey and her father on his phone he said, "She wasn't lying. I believe this could potentially double, or even triple our projected income for this quarter."

    "Well let's not hang about! I'll gag blondie and then we'll be on our way!" Carmen sneered.

    From a drawer Bernard pulled out a bright green and a bright yellow neck tie with a white handkerchief. Honey, knowing the alternative was a lot more frightful, opened her mouth and allowed the cloth to be stuffed inside, before the neck ties were pulled between her teeth and wrapped around her head, tied off underneath her blonde locks. Then she was shuffled over beside Debbie, and after some experimental tugs on her part she too realised she was going nowhere.

     Then Carmen left the bedroom, leaving Bernard to observe his three captives with an air of triumph. "You girls might say you got caught up in a different sort of hostile takeover," he announced. After chortling to himself he added "Just a little joke I made up."

     The girls were in no mood to appreciate his humour. Stephanie gave a desperate moan as she twisted her bound, gloved hands. The spoilt, confident brat had disappeared, replaced by a frightened young lady caught in events beyond her control. Honey, much more accustomed to these situations, methodically tested her restraints and jiggled her pump clad feet, messing up the duvet in the process. Debbie meanwhile sat and glowered at Bernard, trying to ignore the squeaking of her leather boots as she tugged on her restraints, and the chafing of the ropes wrapped around her exposed upper arms.

    Suddenly the engine roared into life, making the girls cry out in surprise. Debbie could hardly believe that they could simply drive away unchallenged, before she remembered that they were the most senior people onsite and people would do whatever they ordered. The three captives huddled together for support as the vehicle trundled forward, hoping for a miracle.

    The trailer hadn't even moved five feet before juddering to a halt again. From the bedroom they heard Carmen cry, "Move, get out of the way!" Then she swore as she applied the handbrake, before she moved to the entrance, which she opened violently before shouting "What is it?"

     "Sorry we just want to check this isn't Stephanie Swift's trailer. Only my girlfriend really wants her autograph you see."

     Debbie and Honey looked at each other in amazement, both recognising Herbie's voice. Then before Bernard could do anything to stop them they chorused, "HHHHRRRBBBBEEEEE NNNN HHHHRRRRRR, HHHHLLLLPPP!"

    There was a pause from outside before another familiar voice said, "Is it wrong that I now recognise the voice of my girlfriend when she's got a gag in her mouth?" Then there was the sound of footsteps hurrying inside, before the bedroom door was flung open and in stormed Stan and Herbie.

    But before either of them could express any form of surprise, Bernard howled and charged at them. Herbie bore the brunt of his assault as the crazed executive tackled him to the floor. Honey squealed as her boyfriend lay winded, while Bernard rose to deal with Stan.

    But Debbie's boyfriend thought fast, and armed himself with a bottle of aftershave on a nearby shelf. As Bernard whirled about Stan outstretched the bottle and sent a jet of spray directly into his face. Bernard howled as he staggered about, tears streaming from his stinging eyes before Herbie tripped him over. Carmen watched all of this with wide eyes, knowing that the game was up, and before any of them could stop her she wrenched open the door and took flight.

   Stan and Herbie let her run, instead focusing their attention on the cowering Bernard. "Let's get this straight Mr Vice Marketing Executive," Stan said with his arms folded. "Only one person is allowed to put Debbie Drummond in situations where she's tied up, and that's Debbie Drummond herself!"



   "I thought I told you to keep out of trouble Debbie," Mr Ridley told his young employee down the phone.

    "Sorry, things sort of escalated…again," Debbie replied nervously.

    "Well I'm glad that you, Honey and Stephanie escaped unharmed. Plus I have good news. I called up the Marketing Executive for Jacque Beauchamp and threatened to sue them for the danger they put you in, unless they agreed to run with your original advert for the launch."

      Debbie felt her mouth drop to the floor in shock. "I-well-thank you," she spluttered.

    "Don't mention it. Go home and get some rest, you've earned it." And with that her boss hung up.

    Debbie could barely contain her smile as she walked back into her trailer where Honey, Stan and Herbie waited for her. Licking his fingers having just polished off yet another plate of free snacks Stan grinned at her and said, "Another successful project huh?"

     "Well that's one way of putting it," Debbie laughed happily.

     Only Honey looked a little disconsolate. "After all that, I never did get an autograph," she sighed.

    But Herbie, unable to control his smile any longer reached into his pocket. "Well, before I give this to you, I did a check online and we can sell this for five hundred dollars if you want," he said as he withdrew a sheet of paper with Steph Swift's autograph.

    Honey blinked at his gift in astonishment, before she gave an excited squeal and threw her arms about him. "You've really got into my good books today!" she exclaimed happily.

    "Did I get back in your good books, after what was said earlier?" Stan asked Debbie sheepishly.

     Debbie laughed as she took him by the hand. "As long as you're on hand to rescue me, you'll always end up back in my good books."

      "Charming of Stephanie not to say goodbye though, after all we did to rescue her," mused Herbie.

    "Maybe being kidnapped will knock her down a peg or two," Debbie thought hopefully. "It's Carmen I'm worried about. I hope the police track her down before she causes more trouble."



    Unbeknownst to Debbie, in a deserted warehouse on the edge of Vanity City, Carmen was the one in trouble, bound as she was to a sturdy wooden chair with her mouth sealed with duct tape. She fidgeted restlessly against the ropes wound about her hands and ankles, gazing up at the person to have done this to her.

    "I paid you to do one simple job!" Stephanie remarked icily, pacing up and down in front of Carmen with her hired goons on her flanks. "All I wanted was for you to kidnap me. It was that simple. Why did you insist on going through with that stupid routine of abducting me during that commercial?"

    "Nnnnn dddd mmmmm bbbsssttt!" Carmen protested through her gag.

    Peeling the tape from Carmen's mouth Stephanie asked, "Well, what do you have to say for yourself?"

    After taking some deep breaths Carmen replied, "It was part of the business strategy. Staging such an elaborate kidnapping would have convinced your dad you were in trouble, plus you could have got a couple million dollars more through the interviews and the book and film rights."

     Leaning in closer Stephanie growled, "All I wanted was my money! My darling father has no right to spend it on his bunch of golddiggers. I trusted you to get it for me, and you let me down!"

    "It wasn't my fault that Drummond woman stuck her nose where it didn't belong!" Carmen howled in protest.

    Stephanie's expression changed from stoic to smug within the space of a second. "Well good job I came up with another plan to get my money, and there is no way the likes of Drummond can foil this one!"
This is my prize for :icondavid-presents: for winning my little Sara interview contest. He asked me to write a story featuring his great OC Debbie Drummond. I really like her because she's not a snoop, or a spy, or a warrior or anything fantastical. She's just a fiesty young woman who get's herself in all sorts of sticky situations, relationships wise as well as rope wise.

The recurring theme is Debbie producing ads with a DID theme for her job, so I thought I'd expand this theme with a story based on how a celebrity gets actually kidnapped during filming of one of these commercials. Please read and enjoy, and if you do, please check out Davids other Debbie tales as well as his other stuff, they're fab!

Debbie Drummond and all related characters owned and created by :icondavid-presents:
© 2012 - 2024 Golavus
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monicasnatch's avatar
Loved the story. Loved the plot twists.

When you revealed the denouement, I have to admit, I was more than a little surprised to learn that Carmen was not Stephanie's mother, who'd divorced her father a few years earlier because of his philandering.

I was, that aside, however, quite pleased to see that it was a case of "no such thing as bad publicity" and the mastermind of the kidnapping was the victim herself!!

Well done sir! :) :)